And so I pray…

Dear God,

I hope and pray someday, you will finally bring me home, when I can already shout to the world, I’m home! I’m home! I’m home at last!

Please make it simple and small. You know, how ardently I took care of my lair. I just do not want to get too tired so I can still take care of the love of my life when he comes home from work. Let me be energetic to untie his shoelace when he arrives, laid out carefully his clothes in our bed, with his slippers neatly placed below on the floor of that loft I’ve always dreamt of.

Let me be full of passion in preparing his favorite food and may we be smiling the whole time in the dining table and not to forget the colorful plates that I’ve always loved by Majorelle Blue.

Let the whole place be surrounded with our beautiful pictures together, all the happy memories of the years gone by, so as to remind us of the love we shared and keep the desire to keep it alive and burning.

Let us keep a wall for our old letters too.

Let him do the interiors, all the vintage stuff that he wants, and allow me a tiny place of my own in one corner, and that I will call it “My sacred place.” He promised it to me anyway.

Let my quilts and my colorful lanterns be visible, and let there be dream catchers on our windows which can be softly kissed by the visiting southern wind.

Oh let there be beautiful vases to hold fresh flowers all the time that will give us scents we always loved, with a sweet cat careful enough not to break it.

Let a huge dog run freely in our lawn, and let all the greens welcome us each morning.

Allow us some trees, so that the sun can peep and create a beautiful sight each time.

May we not forget a corner for your grandeur, where we can bow our heads to express gratefulness of granting us a life with each other.

Please give us a vestibule so pretty anyone who will enter would feel happy and welcome.

These and more, I pray in blind faith.

Lastly, you know that always, my real home, can only be inside his loving arms. And that there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.

So I bow my head now, and say thank you for all these dreams.

Amen.

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The One…

The One… 

“The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.”

Love for all I know lies deep within our soul.

Magnificently giving me answers to the questions as to why my heart has been beating for 45 years.

An endless search if fate might ever allow me to face my counter part in this
lifetime. For some, their search is over, it could be a person, a place, or a passion making them feel whole.

My ideals almost close to perfection might have been true in novels, in reality, I do not know. Ironically, I still believe, with an undying hope, whether I deny it or not, that those ideals once substantiated will finally give peace and contentment to my restless soul.

God and His universe, is ever kind, is listening, is caring. And for all what it is worth. It gave us a choice as to whom we shall become.

The truth is, there is a strange power that allows us to make true our dreams… And most of the time, God knows all of them, down to the littlest detail.

Regardless of time and distance. Still, with immense sanguine, love is so visceral, always beyond intellect that it remains fluid since it found me.

Finally.

My scars and all.

the one
It is foggy…

Love is sweeter the second time around…

Men are the simplest people on earth. Contrary to women who are the more complicated species (in my opinion), or would likely to have the tendency to complicate things.

Men are easy to read. They are so transparent. If they’re not. I guess I would doubt it. You just need to prove to them that you love and adore them 100% and only them. And they’ll be contended like a King.

Luckily, I’d like to think that I’ve found mine years ago. I lost him somehow, for some reason or another. And now the same man has found me.

still looking
…As my gaze turn to him again…

I’d like to say that it was meant to be. We were meant to be. Love is sweeter the second time around. Love is boundless. Love is sweet. Love is happiness. and sadness and all that comes in between.

twas always you
Courtesy of: https://topquotesonline.net/love-quotes/quotes-about-love-love-quote-idea-it-was-always-you-courtesy-of-camille-styles/

I think I will fall in love with him on the third time, on the fourth time, on the fifth time of forever. He is one of God’s gift to me. And I have accepted this gift from God with all my heart, mind, body and soul.

Whatever happens after this, I do not care. Life itself has always been a risk. And I’d rather love and lost than not love at all.

Lately, I said this out of nowhere:

“Once you found someone who made you smile, laugh, worry, cry, miss, ache, want, crave, funny, care, wait, angry, hungry, thirsty, crazy, happy, contented. Cherish the person. It can only be love.”

I am with all my might to pray and at the same time do my share to make it forever. Having him back, after so many years, is amazingly a living definition of what true love might be all about…nothing beautiful can ever be too late.

Love life and life will always love you back. Stay happy. Regardless of the situation. Everyday. Be happy. Like love, it is a choice. It is a decision. It always has been. Most importantly. Life is short. Stay In Love…  =)

you still do
Courtesy of: http://www.lovablequote.com/romantic-love-quotes/when-i-first-saw-you-took-my-breath-away/

The Unfaithful One…

The Unfaithful One

He flapped his broken wings
a hurricane got in my heart
the strongest wind so far
I closed up the windows
to keep out the gusts

I didn’t invite him
i didn’t ask him too
but his words are like angels’
Deceiving, disguised, so true

Now I have to close doors as well
and block the gaps
for broken wings as his
can drag me crushed and sad

I know my wings are strong and free
not even the strongest wind can break me
nor his loathsome ego in my memory.

-wrath of the faithful one-

red death 6
Source: http://kemal-kamil-akca.deviantart.com/art/Red-Death-VI-258337431

No Longer A Maybe…

No Longer A Maybe

 

Like a knight in shining armor,

You rescued me from a faux prince,

Seduced me with your clarity,

Glared me with your transparency.

Amazed me with your sincerity.

 

How love is defined by you and me,

Is something we both disagree,

You laid your best plans feeling free,

Dedicating a little garden for me,

In a vast land for all the world to see.

 

Through the years I never thought,

That old love can still be new,

I am your prettiest ace,

And you asked to be my king,

I am your end and I’m your beginning.

 

You started wishing and dreaming,

Thinking and hoping there is always a way,

Meet our ends without blinking,

No buts and ifs, we are here to stay.

 

At the end of the day,

I can finally say,

I’m okay with who I am,

Please God, permit me to stay this way…

 

A home isn’t a place but a person,

And I am note yet home,

I now know why none worked out before.

 

No longer a maybe,

I am so sure,

I will not run out of patience,

Till I find what my soul is longing for.

The Old Me..
The Old Me..

Courtesy of:

http://www.edieandandy.com/2014/01/i-dont-paint-anymore.html