Choose your battles…


Choose your battles…

“Choose your battles wisely, life is not always about winning fights, it is about being happy.”

 

I’ve often looked at life as a battle. Fighting for something that you believe, one way or another. Not to mention that it is important to decide on what kind of battle we are supposed to fight for and engaged yourself in. Often times, we get extremely wounded. We get crippled. And sometimes, we almost die. We are temporary disabled while simultaneously giving us the chance learn the lessons it imparts during recuperation. Healing can even take months or years.

There are also times when we don’t need to win. Because it’s not just about winning. It is more like about courage to be defeated. Like a destination, you enjoy more the travel itself more so of where you are heading to. Or both.

At war, winning is imperative, still if we lose, we do not totally lose, we gained a lot and how we fought and how it made us, as a person at the end of the game. Like in love, sometimes it’s not about ending up with that person, but having the chance to love and be loved in return. Or we thought so. The experience, the moments we dote on all our lives, because at the end of the road, it felt better that we gave it a shot than not trying at all. Better yet, of being able to weigh its’ worth.

One of my previous boss called us soldiers. Having branches nationwide and being sent to each of them. He would always tell us upon returning to home-base “Good job soldier!” And the term seeps within. It felt good. You are there for a fight. And whether you win or lose, with luck on our side, the boss having been in the battlefield all his life, he focused more on how you fought the battle. You don’t go there without a plan. You don’t bring weapons that are empty.

I miss it. I miss fighting. For love. For self-worth. For dignity. For a happy life. At a young age, I fought for my faith. Losing my first love in the name of God because keeping my faith and my personal beliefs was of more significance than finding myself living a life with a man with principles that might not be in sync with mine. I strongly believe that it is not the life that I want. So I let him go, set myself free and prayed and hoped for a life that suits my mind and my heart’s desires.

After more than three generations. I figured out that on a daily basis. We are soldiers. We fought for our jobs. For our right of way. For our pets. We fought for friendships. We fought for our own place in the family, we fought for a chance to live the life we so much wanted. We fought for the truth.

We are all a fighter. Let the cowards hide under the tables. Wounds might leave scars on our bodies or even on our faces. It cuts through and even our soul sensed it. And ironically they soon become so beautiful they symbolizes strength, wisdom and true beauty in and out.

I'm a soldier..=)
I’m a soldier..=)
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Published by

beautsantua

-An only daughter. A mother of an 18 year old son. Passionate with so many things. A lover of life itself. First of which is to write. Then, sing (I specifically love the stage), read, cook, travel & take beautiful pictures (photography) and scrap booking, all of which are my own way of coping with life's challenges. Friends usually associate me with the color violet. I love this color so much! Though, I love pink, red, teal, orange, yellow, blue as well! Coffee is my water and my happy food is cheesecake topped w/ blueberries, yogurt, sansrival and cream puff. I mastered fettuccine carbonara because that is one of my favorite food as well, along w/ broccoli, prawns and mushrooms. Secretly, I love "Stitch" - that grinning indigo pup. =) Seriously, I dream to become a philanthropist (starting off by providing shelter to street children in our country) and a famous author someday. I'm just waiting for God's time for my first book to be published.- It took me years to decide to blog, more so to write and have it out in the open. As I used to write even when I was a teenager, and I just keep them on file. It was my outlet. Approaching the year they say where life begins, or If I may say, the sweeter life. It was a year full of emotions. As I lost my father a year before and I guess in one way or another, the unfathomable sadness prompted me to pour them out in my writings and share them to the world, hoping it might lighten the heaviness of my heart. I live now with my son and mother, as a mother and as a daughter (as a friend and a sister), this has made me be ready to finally do what I am meant to do. Even If there's a lot that I wanted to do. This came first, like a first love that occupied a special place in my heart. It's a looong process, tiring, frustrating, exciting. The best part? is the happiness it brings. Even if things around seems all so wrong. It's like having my own place under the sun. My own safe and happy rainbowed world. At times, there's guilt as well, for I strongly believe, writing (like singing) is a talent God has gifted us. We ought to use it and maximize it, in our littlest way, share it to mankind, for His glory. I just had a few distractions over the years and to realize that it is never too late to be who we ought to be, I have this very strong feeling, now is the time. All my life, I have decided on things that made me happy, this is one of those. I may never be a winner of those best blogs that have been awarded to talented writers/ bloggers and I don't mind, there are strikes of being envious, but according to my father, there are two kinds of being envy. There's envy that is so negative, it'll hamper you from doing good and there's an envy that makes you happy for them, or seeing yourself in their shoes, I think, the kind of envy in me, is the latter. Like celebrities who missed an Oscar, while the film was watched by the whole world, she/he did not mind, it's like knowing what counts best, and it's the capacity to share your talents to anyone who wants to receive it, without asking anything in return. Expressing what's in my heart and mind on every occasion (which happens to be daily) and being happy about it is like a prize already. Happy reading!(--,)

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